21 Up - here we are on 31st December 1982 – let’s see how you’ve been getting on


How have the last 7 years been for you?

It’s been a good time with a few unexpected forks in the road. Not that I had things mapped out particularly, but I guess I had not expected so many variables. But no complaints at all - everything is going swimmingly.

Some bigger events would be:
- Changed school
- Passed my driving test
- Started work
- Became an uncle
- Lost a grandmother
- Moved out of home (for a while)
- Found myself a proper girlfriend


What have been some of the highs and lows?

School: I managed to get some O Levels, but not enough really. I got into 6th form college but only just. I then started on my A Levels. Everything was a struggle until I took a computer class and finally found something that I could do - programming appealed to me - to create a neat tidy and clever solution. It was time-consuming and a lot of trial and error, but so good to finally have something I could excel in. The best part of the college was making new friends and discovering a bit more about who I was.

Driving: Passing my driving test (4 years ago) was an incredible moment - I can’t begin to tell you the feeling inside - it was independence and freedom. My whole world changed at that moment when suddenly there were so many new doors open to me. Heaven. The down side is that I was the first out of all my friends to pass and therefore became a sort of taxi driver - but that was a small price to pay.

Work: My dad realised that my future wasn’t going to come via education, so he found a couple of possible jobs in the computer space. My Careers Officer at school stated that in computing, experience is worth more than qualifications and if I could find a way in, then I should take it. Both the jobs found were as Computer Operators, so not at the exciting edge, but a job which covers a huge range of tasks with variety and plenty of areas of development. Both jobs required shift work, so I didn’t get the first as I was under 18 and therefore not legally allowed, but the second was later on and I landed it.

Leaving Home: Having started work, I moved out of home and into a flat with a couple of mates - well, one mate and friend of his. It was above an Indian sweet shop in one of Leicester’s more Indian areas and that was great - new sounds, more colour, and more exciting tastes. I loved being there and bought a nice new car to celebrate this independence. I loved getting back there to my nice big room and leaving the world behind - and it gave me lots of freedom to work around the different shifts I was working.

However, a few months in and I had a bad car crash that left me without wheels for a while, so I ended up moving back in with my folks whilst using their car and saving money to buy my own place.

Grandmother: my dad ’s mum died last year after a long and painful illness. I didn’t get to see her much towards the end - apparently it wasn’t pretty and my dad preferred me to remember her when she was more herself. I didn’t really know her as she didn’t talk much - well, not to me. She always seemed happy when sitting in the corner and having her family around, but she never really joined in. I heard more about her life story after she died and it all makes more sense with context. I was not particularly affected by her death but it was interesting seeing how different folk processed and reacted to it.

Louise: My sister got married - despite all logic, she landed herself a man - and a good one at that. It makes no sense to me, but the world moves in mysterious ways some times, so it gives us all hope. It was a big day and she now lives in Essex of all places - a huge change for her, but hopefully she will be happy. After she left school, my dad opened a second soft furnishing shop that she managed, but now with her being married, he has closed it again. While she was working, it calmed her down a bit and she was less painful, but now she has got married she is a different person and is ok company.

Nephew: My sister had a son earlier this year - Daniel. It was a difficult pregnancy with her getting quite sick and the difficultly the doctors had was to treat her without giving her drugs that could harm the baby – it was a difficult time for her and Jon and both sets of parents. Since Daniel arrived, Louise has recovered well and the baby is fine too.

Music: I started going to some live music and that is an exciting thing for me. A couple of good ones that come to mind from this year are 1) the Rolling Stones at St. James Park in Newcastle. A long way to go, but worth it and 2) Simon and Garfunkel at Wembley Stadium - completely fantastic - what a thrill.

Girlfriend. It feels good to be in a relationship - my first proper one. I do acknowledge that I am not very good at it and I know that I’m not giving enough, but we have fun and she is a total pleasure. I feel that she is really out of my league but I am very happy. It is hard balancing a very active social life and ensuring that she gets the time she deserves - and my shift work adds a challenge too. We have fun and other than being delightful and lovely, she has a laugh that is so infectious. Though I am older than her, she is the mature one - I don ’t know what is in it for her, but I’m happy - I don ’t have a bad thing to say about her.

Prior to my current girlfriend there have been some infatuations, unrequited desires and some enjoyable dabbling. Some have been quite painful in some ways, but I am happy to make friends with girls even if it isn’t leading anywhere - I guess that I just learnt that the place where I tend to land is the dreaded friend zone - though I don't mind it.


What are the main differences between this you and the previous you?

The biggest change is the independence I have gained. By working, I have money to spend, a car to get me around and all the time I need. The only restriction on time is that I have 5 days every 4 weeks where I work from 4pm to midnight - I don't tend to get much done on those days. When I moved out of home, I had plenty of space and time without being drawn as much into things that I didn’t want to do. It was tough moving from that situation back to living with my parents again, but it is required to save up enough to buy a place of my own.

I am a lot more relaxed now that I don’t have homework to do. It took a while for me to lose the feeling of having something that I should be doing but was avoiding - but after I’d been working for about 2 months, it suddenly occurred to me that all that mattered was the current day - I had nothing else to do - nothing that needed to be done - I could just enjoy myself. Obviously work is its own challenge, but I am enjoying it and I am learning interesting and useful things - I have adapted to it well.

Have your friendship groups altered?

A lot of my school/college friends have now gone off to University, but I am still here and working. I am envious in some ways as I imagine it would be a lot of fun - other than the study. But that wasn’t the hand dealt to me. So a few are now away for a lot of the year but a couple of that crowd remain here.

Socially, I do a lot - I have several set off friends that I move between; those I grew up with, school friends, college friends, work friends, folk I met around the traps, etc. And also students arriving in Leicester – when people move to a new city, all sort of remote connections are invoked to link with friends of friends - to help them know somebody. As I am around the same age I am a gateway for them and Leicester life. So I am busy with lots of stuff - parties, meals, drinks, catch-ups - whatever is on offer.

At work, there tends to be 2 worlds in IT; operations (which I’m in) and development (programmers etc.). These two don’t tend to cross-over, but I am rather happy that I have made friends in the development side of things and they are a lot more interesting than a lot of my team mates, so that is a good thing.

I tend to be busy as I am juggling a lot of friendships, but each is worth the effort.


What hasn’t been great and/or what would you change?

So this is always a hard question. If I am happy with where I am, then I can't complain about any of the elements that got me here.

Nothing comes to mind really. If pushed, then I wouldn’t have had the car accident that resulted in me moving back home, but then again, I wouldn’t be in the position of saving money for a house deposit, so I am heading in the right direction. It isn’t like I am home very often and when I am, I do get to have the company of Rosie.

But now I think about it, I would prefer not to have started smoking as I could have saved the money and bought a house by now.

I have also bought music that I no longer like, so I regret it now, but I didn’t regret it at the time - which is why the question is so hard.

I also think that I would have tried to extract a conversation or stories from my grandmother, but I feel that was a nut that I couldn’t have cracked.

I would like to have chatted more with some of the people I have met - I think that a lot of my interactions are quite superficial and I would like to know more about the people - particularly the girls I have met. I seem to talk a lot about myself when trying to impress them - which probably has the opposite effect than I am after. I would like to have just talked to them, but I am a bit too shy for that - well, not always. I am shyer around girls that I am attracted to rather than those I just like. Maybe I’ll grow out of that.

Regrets are interesting. At the time of making a decision, you make the best one based upon what you know. It is wrong to say that a decision was wrong based upon information revealed later. Hindsight has little value. I suppose that I would look at it that there have been occasions when I should have looked into things more before making decisions, but hopefully that is something that will come more readily to mind in the future.

I can’t regret things that I couldn’t control, but as I look back on the last 7 years, I realise that I don't think clearly enough about what I can and can't control - I probably fret over things that would be better off being ignored.


Why are people your friend?

This is more interesting than last time you asked, but I still don’t know how to answer. Based upon the reactions of others, I seem to be an amusing chap. I am also readily available at the drop of a hat. I am interested in doing stuff and have the energy and drive to fill my time and share with friends. I think that I am a positive energy and always interested in having fun - I guess that I attract people who want that in their world.


On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you?

I have nothing to complain about, but I want more e.g. a house, a better job, etc. So I will choose a score of 8.5


What are you proudest of?

Probably that I have bounced between various changes and not broken stride. I can’t think of anything else.

Ok, maybe that I don’t drink. I started drinking lager and lime when out with friends who were drinkers - I didn’t really like it so I’d ask for extra lime. Then a mate said that he was going to move from lager to beer and, though he didn’t like the taste, he’d get used to it. It just sounded odd to hear that - it certainly wouldn’t be a decision made about food i.e. I don ’t like how that tastes but I’ll eat it until I get used to it. Then I realised that I was doing that with my lager and lime - so I stopped and moved on to coke instead.


What do you like to do with your time?

So much. Work is interesting due to its shift nature. A four week cycle made up of 5 afternoons (4pm to midnight), 6 nights (midnight to 8am), 7 days (8am to 4pm) and 10 days off within that cycle. I like the people I work with - we have 4 teams to cover the 3 shifts of a day. My team is a mix of people, but they are all nice and happy to teach me stuff. I pick up things well and enjoy the excitement of the evolving environment and technology changes.

A lot of my time is taken up with driving to different villages and finding nice pubs that friends and I can pass an evening at. There are so many places to go and the discovery is enjoyable. I think that Leicestershire is a beautiful area - the city Centre is ok for what it is, but the countryside is gorgeous.


What new items do you own and care about?

I love my car - I bought a brand new one and it goes fast. It is obviously the biggest thing I have ever got and it is all mine.

When driving, I listen to music all the time, so there are some favourite tapes that I put on - either albums or stuff I’ve compiled. I spend a lot of time and money on music.

The rest is on socialising - so food and drink.


What has changed you and what lessons have you learnt?

This is hard to answer as I was more of a child when I was 14. I now feel so much more - I have done lots - I go to lots of places - I can go anywhere - I can commit time to any person or event - I have money to do things. All in all, the world I am in is a grown-up one, and that was certainly not the case 7 years ago.

I feel that I have learnt that I don’t need to follow the crowd - hence the stopping drinking. But then again, I smoke and that is so obviously a crowd-influenced decision. It is a waste of money, but I keep doing it.


How much have you achieved/accomplished?

I don’t know the answer to this - I go about my business and address what is in front of me. I can’t say ‘passing my driving test ’ as just about everyone does that. Starting work isn’t an achievement - it is just what I do. Actually, all that I do is just that – it is what I do. I think that achievement implies that I have progressed in something through directed effort – I can’t apply that to anything that I do.

Maybe the answer are skills I have learnt in my job, but that is just what I do by going to work and doing stuff. I can’t think of anything that answers the question.


What new skills have you developed?

Driving. Snooker. Bridge. Scrabble. Work related knowledge. I lost my virginity, but I am well aware that this is far from a skill – I need more practice and experience - and maybe a good teacher.


What main lessons from the previous you, have you incorporated into your current life?

This is tough - the 14 year old me didn’t really have much that he could impart to me that would have helped. The world I have lived in has changed quite considerably and is still gaining momentum. I guess that I am a man now - he was a boy.

Maybe a change has been in how I approach things in regards to making myself available to anything that is on offer. But I don’t think that is a lesson - it is just my continued attitude to being open to options.


What do you value/care about?

Not much really. I don’t have enough knowledge about many topics to be comfortable that my opinion is sound.

During the last General Election, I delivered anti-National-Front leaflets as National Front supporters are clearly a bunch of dumb, cruel and ignorant arseholes, so that was an easy decision.

I care about my friends and making time to visit and spend time with people I like.

It feels like this question deserves a big answer, but I don’t have one - I can’t really think of anything else.


What are your desires/plans/aims/goals?

That is a challenging question as I don’t really have any desires. I am enjoying what I am doing and I don’t tend to look forwards to what I might want. Obviously, having more money would open doors and I could explore more as to what I desire.


What are your negatives?

How do you expect me to answer that? Maybe, being a smoker, I probably smell worse than I should. And I am probably not fit, which is a negative. I am also not the most professional worker - I do stuff and am enthusiastic, but it doesn’t feel like I am going to fit the mould - time will tell.


What are your motivations?

I guess that I am motivated to establish myself at work, to keep friendships alive, to buy a home, to keep busy and to enjoy myself. I feel that this question also deserves a better answer than I am giving.


What are your passions?

Not sure that I have an answer.


What impacts do you think you have made?

I would like to think that I have been a good friend to people. I make time for anyone who asks for it and I also try and be there if I think I am needed.


What indoor activities do you get up to?

Whilst at 6th form college, I learned to play Bridge and I do enjoy that. At school, I used to play brag, pontoon and poker and other such games for small amounts of money - I tended to win more than lose, but we aren’t talking big numbers at all.

I play snooker a lot - with a few different friends.

Another game I play is scrabble - we played it as a family and I still play with friends. Another word game that I enjoy is Boggle.

I don’t read much, but I have been exposed to quite a lot of literary things. I have ‘discovered ’ and enjoyed reading Hermann Hesse, Richard Bach, Kahil Gibran and C. S. Lewis (I recently re-read the 7 Narnia stories).


What outdoor activities do you get up to?

I don ’t really do any sport and most of what I do is inside and involves hanging out with people.

I do go to the football quite a bit. Leicester City are my local club and I love going to see them play - they’re nothing great, but they are my team. I go with various folk and always stand at the same spot, so people can find me. It is an exciting energy.

Another thing I do, is take myself off for a walk in Bradgate Park. This is where we used to go as a family when I was a kid. Now, after a long night shift, I like to head up there and have a stroll before heading home for sleep. It is a special place.


What holidays have there been?

There have been some family holidays (e.g. Bournemouth) that have been good, but the more striking ones came away from that.

In 1977, I went on a very good holiday in Felixstowe - through my youth club, I knew some folk before arriving, but made lots of new friends when there - life was so easy when I was 16 - things just happen without you noticing - it is just fluid. It was such a good time and I got to hang out with a beautiful girl - that made it extra good.

The year after that, I went on a 5 week trip to Israel with some friends, but I made a lot of new interesting and funny friends there - all from different places - it was just brilliant to be independent (sort of) and be able to just learn who I was and discover what appeals and what doesn’t. I met such nice people – and it was interesting for me to be standing up as a confident young man - some of the time. It was the first time I had really established myself as an individual and that process alone led to some interesting self discovery.

The year after that, I went on some smaller trips including a week on a barge (long boat) with some mates.

Now that I work, holidays are different - they aren’t lined up to fit with school holidays - they are now deliberate and chosen. I don’t take many though. With my spare time, I go visiting friends in different cities and I am happy to holiday in the UK rather than go exploring the world.

I go up to Glasgow to see various friends there - I love that place and the people it creates.


What have been your musical influences?

Music is everywhere and linked to most things that I do and people that I know. I hear music on the radio, TV, parties, clubs, at work and at people ’s houses. The influences are varied and they can be subtle - just catching a bit of a song that attracted my attention.

As my musical pleasure expands and alters, doors are opened and the journey of discovery gets more and more interesting. My tastes and knowledge has grown at an incredible rate.

Some musical doorways came from the movies and 3 examples are; Carwash (1976), Fame (1980) and The Blues Brothers (1980).

A big thing that happened was a couple of years ago when John Lennon was murdered. Other than sadly ensuring the definite end of the Beatles, it also was a doorway to his music, his influences and his collaborators. Learning about him has led to a lot of new music and possibilities.

Looking at all the music from the last 7 years, I have selecting 5 from each year and explained why they were plucked.

1976
1. Billy Ocean: Love Really Hurts Without You. This song just feels great. I like all that Billy does and how he does it. He is a very likable chap and writes a good tune. It is a good one to dance to and just has a great vibe to it.
2. Bran Ferry: Let ’s Stick Together. Bryan is a cool man both with Roxy Music and solo - I can’t put my finger on why, but this song just makes me sing along - I can’t listen to it without doing so.
3. Chicago: If You Leave Me Now. This was the slow song that ended parties that year - the song that you could get a slow dance to and also the kissing song of the year. Each year has one, and this was a goody.
4. The Bee Gees: You Should Be Dancing. Disco was growing as there was a transition from glam (that I love) and it’s shallowness towards disco which is designed for pleasure, partying and dancing. The Bee Gees were riding the wave and they know how to create a song hook.
5. Wild Cherry: Play The Funky Music. This was played at least once at most parties - it is unusual but solid - it was a new sort of sound but fitted perfectly with what was going on.

1977
1. Darts: Daddy Cool. This was another fun party song that always got people up and dancing. It was a bit of a nod towards a past style, but very welcome.
2. Status Quo: Rockin’ All Over The World. This song was a good dance song, but its importance comes from what it represents - it was my doorway into the pleasure that is Status Quo - they are masters at what they do.
3. Leo Sayer: When I need You. That year’s kissing song. Other than that aspect, it is a great song that was written and performed so well.
4. Ram Jam: Black Betty. A rocking good song with a lot of energy - it is a small step towards the growing punk scene with the Sex Pistols having joined my world - I like punk music but not the people - what a wimp I am!
5. Santana: She ’s not there. This was a step up for me - or so it felt like - moving into grown-up music - it was a real shift and turned my head towards a multitude of different sounds.

1978
1. Kate Bush: Wuthering Heights. She is so talented and beautiful - what a noticeable addition to my world. The album (The Kick Inside) is equally rewarding. Since that first album, she has released 3 more; Lionheart, Never for Ever and The Dreaming. My love for her has grown with each one.
2. Bob Marley: Is This Love. I loved this song and it the one that has led me through to Reggae music. It is sad that he died last year as there will not be more from him. Living in Leicester, there is a large Rastafarian community and there is a lot of colour and noise from their communities. Each year at the Afro-Caribbean festival, I watch from the outside but enjoy energy of it all. Bob features hugely, but there is some much heavier stuff too.
3. Ian Dury: What a Waste. Not sure how to describe his stuff, but I like it because there is no ‘pretending’ - he seems pretty sincere in just doing stuff his way. Some of his songs have a bit to say too. It comes from a different place than the world I live in, but I connect to it anyway.
4. The Commodores: Three Times A Lady. That year’s kissing song. This band keeps delivering - and their disco songs are always a hit. I just enjoy what they deliver.
5. The Boomtown Rats: Ray Trap. Other than liking the song, this band are intriguing as they seem to make no effort to conform, yet they are in the mainstream. But they seem authentic and they (well, Bob Geldof) certainly performs with passion and they tell their stories well.

1979
1. Dire Straits: Sultans of Swing. This grabbed me straight away - it is mainly the guitar playing, but it is also a complete song. There is something clean about it in as much as the production is spot on - a professional setup.
2. Earth, Wind and Fire: Boogie Wonderland. So much energy and full on disco - you can’t help but dance to this cracker. They just hit the mark and with a great sound backed by a superb brass section, they just have so much oomph.
3. The Police: Walking on the Moon. This band emerged and just rolled out hit after hit. This song is one of the biggest and they were a big part of the musical world I fed off.
4. The Crusaders (featuring Randy Crawford): Street Life. Other than this being a great song, it also led me into the world of The Crusaders and some cracking stuff that they have delivered. They are more jazz than anything else and though I am not a great fan of jazz, this has opened my eyes. I listen to their music quite a bit, so this mention is about them more than this song.
5. Peaches and Herbs: Reunited. A mention for that year’s kissing song.

1980
1. John Lennon: (Just Like) Starting Over. I was a Beatles fan and since their ending, there has only really been Paul McCartney who has stayed mainstream whereas the other 3 just revisiting every now and then with great quality - well, from John and George anyway. There was a lot of hype about this new album from John and no sooner was it released, then he was murdered and the world was shocked. The album is great, but it was more going through the back catalogue and listening to all the John stuff that my respect and admiration grew. What a loss.
2. The Detroit Singers: Working My Way Back To You. Just a perfectly crafted soul record - showing that this type of music isn’t dead. Traditional but welcome.
3. Kool & The Gang: Celebration. Disco continues and songs like this keep stoking the fire. Great fun and a good dance track.
4. The Gap Band: Oops Upside Your Head. Another disco song that featured at every party and club that I went to - not my favourite song but represents a time and place.
5. The Jam: Going Underground. They keep delivering great songs - not sure what style they are as they are too sophisticated to be punk but they are related. This year brought along a new music TV program called The Tube, and their first show featured the Jam’s farewell/retirement concert live in the studio. They will be missed.

1981
1. Adam and the Ants: Ant Music. Despite being around for a couple of years, Adam arrived in the musical charts this tear and had hit after hit. Weird concept that he has adopted - the pirate persona and all the acting and play that revolves around an invented character. But it works and it is fun.
2. Soft Cell: Tainted Love. A new sound - the trend towards the electronic sound hit like a wave. This is not a great song, but it is good and it is catchy.
3. Ultravox: Vienna. Shows the power of a song - that when crafted this well, can create a mood and feel. This song is everywhere and its popularity hasn’t waned. This is a good example of the new music swamping the charts.
4. The Human League: Don’t You Want Me Baby? More electronic music, but this band do it better than most. Their songs have variety and are individual i.e. they don ’t follow a formula.
5. Smokey Robinson: Being With You. That year’s kissing song and a welcome back to the charts for the legend that is Smokey.

1982
1. Culture Club: Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? We have arrived at a new era. I’ve moved through glam and disco. I touched on Punk and New Wave. And now we are back into pop music. Culture Club are defined by the persona of Boy George and the focus he provides. But they write a good song and he has a fantastic voice.
2. Kid Creole & The Coconuts: Annie, I ’m Not Your Daddy. This was another new style - a mix of disco and Latin American. They deliver good songs, colour, dancing, videos and singing.
3. Dexy's Midnight Runners: Come On Eileen. This became huge and would get everyone up and dancing and singing their heads off too. It can be heard everywhere.
4. Irene Cara: Fame. The movie came out and is great and the song just makes you want to get up and dance. It is fun and it is party.
5. Duran Duran: Hungry Like The Wolf. Along the same lines as Culture Club’s emergence, we also had this band appear - an accomplished band only ruined by adoring female screamers. But they have a good sound.