42 Up - here we are on 31st December 2003 – let’s see how you’ve been getting on


How have the last 7 years been for you?

It has been a time of change, exploration and growth. It has been less chaotic than the previous 7 years but still a time of adventures and actively pursuing opportunity.

Some bigger events would be having:
- discovered Australia
- moved to Australia
- established a life in Melbourne
- lived in 7 homes
- had 6 jobs


What have been some of the highs and lows?

Moving to Australia
In 1997, I went to Australia for the first time - it was to catch up with Australian friends in Melbourne (who I had worked with in Winchester) and to visit my cousin who was living in Sydney as she travelled around the world. Sydney was a fantastic place to visit - very exciting and then I went to Melbourne and felt incredibly comfortable there - it was my sort of place.

A few months after that trip, I got a random call from a recruitment agent who were looking for IT people with my skills to work in Sydney, Canberra or Melbourne. The call came at a time when I didn’t own a property to worry about, I was single (having finished an 18 month relationship), and I was bored with both my job and Oxford. I was ready for a change and I had nothing tying me to any place - great timing to get that call.

I had a phone interview for a role and was offered a 6 month contract in Melbourne. This was towards the end of November and the role was to start early in February. My mate said that I could stay with him when I arrived, so there were no obstacles and that was it.

Due to my UK lifestyle, I didn’t have many possessions left, so I gave my books to my sister, my records to my nephew and all by audio books to various folk. I then packed up the remaining things, forwarded them to Australia, did a farewell tour, sold my car and flew to Melbourne.

Discovery
Melbourne is the most delightful place to live – I love its people, pace, variety, culture, music, weather, food, space, geography and options. Learning the shades of Melbourne takes time - so many suburbs and each unique in what it delivers.

Soon after arriving, I started a relationship and discovered Melbourne with her. She knew the place well, but not so aware of what there was to do – that became my speciality. I got to drive us around a lot (in her car), and slowly I began to piece it all together. There are good tram, train and bus systems to use here - and cheapish too - so it is easy to get around.

Almost from day 1, it felt like I was born to live here.

9/11
Worth mentioning the shock of that and the continued impact it has on people and the world - it feels like a game changer. It was weird watching it happen live - it was late in the evening here and it flashed on the TV and watched it unfold. It was weird wondering what it could be the start of. It has changed a lot about what we can do, but it has also bruised people’s sense of safeness.


What are the main differences between this you and the previous you?

I tended to get bored easily before moving here. I needed stimulation and had to work hard to obtain that - I had to make it happen. Being here, it is happening all around me and it is a case of me choosing from the multiple options as to what I want to do with my time. As such, a big difference is that I can relax into a busy life - with less energy spent making it happen and using that energy to enjoy what is happening.

I think that the current version of me is excited at being here - the place, the people and the life I have. I was excited with the life I had before moving here, but looking back, it feels like that was a more diluted time due to the perceived limited options available to me.

The last adventure in the UK was living in Oxford where life had slowed down quite a bit and my pleasure was coming from going elsewhere to catch up with people - that was partly by choice, but also by circumstance. Being here, I enjoy being busy - I go to plenty of things on my own and I have lots of time to relax too - I am busy but not in a way that feels hectic. People wonder why I’m not exhausted, but I get my energy from doing things - it feeds itself.

I am meeting lots of new people and making lots of new friends. I had a good social life spread out over the UK, but nothing like it is now. I have a fine collection of friends who are all connections made whilst following my desires. There are all sorts of people filling out my life and I appreciate them all.

Not since the magazine I used to write have I produced anything until arriving here and discovering the art of websites. It has fed a creative side to me that I wasn’t sure existed – it is an avenue of achievement that enhances my sense of self.


Have your friendship groups altered?

Through circumstance, it is a big yes. Upon arriving in Melbourne, I knew 8 people to differing degrees, so that provided a small platform of comfort from which I could grow. I was conscious early on not being dependent on the people I knew but to go out and create my own world. A lot of this was an organic growth coming from places I went, work colleagues, friends of friends, attending gigs, and generally being open to any opportunity that presented itself. I was in an 18 month relationship that begun soon after I arrived, so that was great to spend time with her and her large family and share my Melbourne exploration with her.

There is an openness and friendliness with Melbourne people - it is almost natural to fall into conversation with folk. It is a social place, so it is the nature of the surroundings to suggest catching up for a drink or meal - that is what people do here - it is a huge foodie place and the variety, quantity and quality of places breeds a culture of relaxing together. So chatting to strangers isn’t too weird.

Also, when single, there is the new world of internet dating that has enabled to meet some lovely women - not much romance has ensued, but some good friendships.

When I have returned to the UK on holidays, there hasn’t been the time to see all the people I want to, so I have to prioritise and that means that there has been a separation between my old life and this. It is just the nature of distance and time.


What hasn’t been great and/or what would you change?

A problem with how much I am enjoying myself is that it is out of my hands as to how long it continues over here. I exist on Business Visas and my attempts at making it more permanent is proving to be a challenge.

The initial agency that brought me out here had promised to help me get residency, but that didn’t eventuate. My independent attempts using the point-scoring criteria hasn’t happened as I don’t have enough points available to me. My options are now limited to marriage or work - one is undesirable and other is proving to be difficult.

I want to be here as Melbourne gives me all that I want, but without knowing how long this adventure will be, I am making the most of the time so that I don’t leave with any regrets. Actually, I say that, but it is really just how I live my life anyway.

So the lack of certainty around how long I am here is a cloud in an otherwise very clear and sunny sky.

Another thing that hasn’t been the best has been some of the jobs I have taken since being here. The nature of contracting is that you take the opportunities that present themselves. Though I have specific IT skills, they aren’t unique and therefore I am in the mix with others to get any job. Due to needing to be working (for financial and visa reasons), I take whatever comes my way - so not very discerning. On the whole, it is the people that make the job enjoyable, but some of the jobs have been overnight support of IT systems - and that can interfere with my social life and reduce the amount of sleep I have. But it pays me well enough, so I can’t really complain.

Also, my Grandmother died last year and that was sad even though I obviously haven’t  see her much since moving. We had always been close - particularly when my grandfather died - she used to talk to me about her thoughts and feelings and we shared some good conversations.


Why are people your friend?

Still a tough question. I think a big part of the answer is because I am available for doing stuff or for catching up. Though I am out a lot and go to a lot, I try and put people first - so an offer or request from a friend tends to win out.

I also know what is going on around Melbourne, so I am handy in that respect.

I am enthusiastic about life and sharing my time with those that I like.


On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you?

9 – it’s all going well. Just my lack of residency being the issue


What are you proudest of?

How easily I have gone about things and accepted, learnt and grown. The life I am living now is far removed from what came before - it has layers of people, music, culture, food and sociability. It always requires effort to create a life that is enjoyable and rewarding - the advantage I have in Melbourne is that there are so many more ingredients available. I am appreciative of being here.

Another thing I am proud of is learning how to create websites and then making them for others at no cost. A lot of bands, venues, friends and even charities have the need but not the means, so I have been able to help a few out. It is my contribution to the world that gives me so much pleasure.


What do you like to do with your time?

Socialise with people I like. Go to music I like or think that I will. Work when I have to. Sit around and watch the day develop. Go for massages. I’ve been to some night-school classes. I’ve grabbed whatever options have come my way.

But the biggest passion I have is the local music scene - so many venues, artists and options. Every night there is a huge range of music to choose from and I have gained a good insight into who is who and what I like and where to go - I go to music on average about 3 times a week, though when I first arrived, it was more than that - I couldn’t get enough of it and the quality is unbelievable. This place feeds my passion.

I also like to set myself little challenges or start projects - to entertain, amuse or educate myself.


What new items do you own and care about?

I got a nice push bike and cycle around the place quite a bit. I still depend on trams and trains a lot - particularly now that I live in the city - but I do like my bike. The down side is that it isn’t very good at going up hills!

Other than that, nothing.


What has changed you and what lessons have you learnt?

The freedom I have in Melbourne has changed me hugely - I have no responsibilities and just look for fun wherever I can. I am open to the world and embrace adventure and take any opportunity that comes my way. I don’t think I have learnt this - I just do it.

I have learnt that by being kind to others, they tend to be kind back. So I guess the lesson is that things don’t just happen to me, they are a reaction to me too i.e. you reap what you sow.

I have learnt the pleasure of arranging things and inviting people along. Not everyone is good at planning or knowing what is happening around Melbourne. I tend to know and have shared some wonderful events and occasions with others as a result. So I have learnt that just because people don’t initiate things, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t up for stuff. It feels good when people enjoy experiences that I have created.

When I was moving here, my dad said “What will you do if the job doesn’t work out?” - worrying after my US experience. He also said “What will you do if you don’t like it?”. The answer to these questions was the same - I am going for an initial 6 months and after that period, the person I am at that time will make the decision - he will have had 6 months of experience that I can’t predict and it isn’t for me to decide now what he will want to do then. I will trust that the person I will become will make the best decisions, so I don’t have to think about it on his behalf. This has become part of me - I live for now and will make decisions when decisions need to be made - other than those times, there is nothing to think about.


How much have you achieved/accomplished?

I have built a life from a blank page. I have written plenty in and continue to do so. I am richer for each day I live.

I have built lots of websites for myself and for others that needed them. It is enriching to provide for others.

I have built many wonderful friendships and relationships.


What new skills have you developed?

Probably the ability to create websites.

I have learnt no new work skills as I am employed for what I know and not what I could do.


What main lessons from the previous you, have you incorporated into your current life?

The ability to create a life/world from a sparse beginning. With each move I made in the UK, I did this and that means that I don’t fear it as I know that I am capable.

Establishing new friendships was developed strongly from my previous transient lifestyle. I know that I am happy on my own and I work at bonding with people that I meet who I want to be part of my world. Some friendships are short, but worthwhile whereas others continue to grow and develop. This requires effort and it is time well spent - I am comfortable with who I am and I tend to read people well. I have made some mistakes, but am quite comfortable in withdrawing from friendships too. I want people in my life who add and I am only happy when I am adding to theirs.


What do you value/care about?

Staying in Melbourne. I want to make this life more definite, but it is hard as it is out of my hands.

My friendships.

Not wasting my time. There is nothing more disappointing when the day ends without having added to the world or my world - I try and ensure that never happens. The difference between doing something and not doing something is doing something.


What are your desires/plans/aims/goals?

To find a way to stay in Melbourne. There is nowhere else that I’d rather be at this time.

I don’t like to plan ahead and being in a temporary state here, I can’t really predict the future. Having said that, I wouldn’t mind buying a place so that I don’t have to worry about changing rent or leases ending – part of me would like to not worry about where I’ll live next - it would be a distraction removed. Then again, based on my history of restlessness, maybe that wouldn’t actually work for me. I do enjoy moving - setting up a new place and learning about my new neighbourhood. I naturally find myself in a transient lifestyle - not as a deliberate choice, but the result of all my other choices. I am fortunate that I slip into whatever is going on, so it doesn’t really matter where I am or for how long, but there is a part of me that would like the home part removed from that - just a solid base and then with that out the way, all my energy can go into work and play.


What are your negatives?

 As always, this would be an easy question for others to answer.

Maybe my intolerance at times - people annoy me - well, their behaviour does. I like people who are respectful and considerate - when people show behaviour outside of that, I do get annoyed. I know that it is none of my business and people can be who they are, but for some reason, it annoys me.

My enthusiasm for doing stuff can be annoying to some. I guess that is why I have so many friends - so no one person is inundated with me.

I also speak my mind and that can be confronting for some - sometimes maybe others would prefer me to hold my tongue. I do know that I can be quite brutal when I go for somebody verbally, but that doesn’t happen too often.


What are your motivations?

Making the most of each day - as has been my way for most of my years.

Finding jobs that don’t encroach on my social life. People talk about work/life balance - I am very conscious of that and drawing a line between those two.


What are your passions?

I think I have covered all this, but music is a huge passion. As are my friends. As is doing as much as I can. And also accepting opportunity that comes my way. So just enjoying Melbourne.


What impacts do you think you have made?

Sharing the love. I love giving/sharing experiences with others - it feels great when people are grateful for being introduced to something they wouldn’t have known about. I guess it isn’t a motivation as much as a pleasure.

I have helped people out in several ways. I have been supportive of and have helped people with practical things like websites, but also advice and a listening ear. I will make time for anyone who needs or asks of it.


What indoor activities do you get up to?

I sort of had Tigger for 3 years. He was a neighbourhood cat that adopted me when I lived in Richmond. He was just a kitten when I arrived and he’d sit on the step of my house. Then he started coming in and then I started to buy him food. Then he’d sleep on my bed and hang with me whenever I was home. He lived a couple of streets away and would come and go as the mood took him. I have never been a cat person, but he was a delight. It was nice while it lasted.

I spend a fair amount of time on my PC. I create and maintain websites and that can take a bit of time. I have also created a gig guide where I update it with what is on or coming up - that takes a lot of time to stay on top of. I enjoy it though.


What outdoor activities do you get up to?

Eating outside a lot - sometimes just in cafes or restaurants, but also at friends' places for a barbecue or going to live music with food to accompany the experience.

Some music events. There is a lot of outdoor music events - some at wineries and some in the park or at the zoo.

There are also outdoor arts events like Shakespeare in the park or the outdoor cinema in the Botanical Gardens.

Cycling. I have taken to cycling around the place - often to get somewhere particularly but also, on occasions, just to go for a ride and enjoy the weather and scenery.

So I do outdoor activities, but really, I am just doing stuff that happens to be outside - it is not a particular choice to do outdoor things - other than cycling of course.


What holidays have there been?

In my last year in the UK, I was seeing an interesting girl and we had trips to Switzerland and France - on each occasion it was to stay at places that her sister owned. Short but enjoyable trips.

And the Christmas before leaving the UK, I did a day trip to Lapland to see the glorious frozen scenery and to visit Santa - a great day.

Since arriving in Australia, there have been a few short trips. I had 6 days in Broome, a weekend in Adelaide, another in Tasmania, another in Uluru and 4 trips to Sydney.

I went on a week-long cruise with a couple of mates - not really my ideal holiday, but it was actually more enjoyable than I expected. There were stops at Caledonia, Vanuatu and Mystery Island.

With 9/11 happening, overseas travel has become a lot more complicated and time consuming as security, rules and laws have all changed to reduce the chances of further occurrences.

I have visited the UK 3 times and on one occasion, I did it via the US on the way and on the way back and saw LA, Denver and Chicago. The highlight in the US was Chicago - wandering around such a place and visiting blues clubs in the evening and eating large and tasty meals.


What have been your musical influences?

What a question! The last 6 years have introduced me to multiple delights - so many gigs and discoveries. It feels insulting to mention some and not others.

I don’t listen to the radio particularly or watch music on TV. My exposure now is through live music and the multiple ways I have access to them. Just by going to gigs, I have got to chat to a number of artists. I have created websites for different venues and bands too.

There is also a Blues Society here and I have attended a lot of their stuff, I have written stuff for their magazine (interviews with acts and write-ups on venues), I created them a website and I also got to be a 3-time judge at their annual blues competition where the winner is sent to Memphis to represent Australia in the International Blues Competition.

So I am involved in the local scene here and go to lots of music and I see some of my favourites often. I’ll list out some:

My favourite act is a local blues chap called Chris Wilson - I have seen him so many times and every time is a pleasure - he is hugely talented and has great people playing with him. An incredible talent and a lovely man too, and very funny to top it off.

Then there are the sisters Vika and Linda - beautiful voices, great harmonies, large variety of musical styles - love their gospel stuff - and such lovely people to spend time with. I created their website, I run their mailing list and I sell their merchandise at their gigs - what a privilege.

Tiddas (discovered having seen Sally Dastey perform solo). 3 women with brilliant songs, harmonies and messages.

Geoff Achison. An incredible guitarist who does things better than anyone else I have seen. Comes from a background in blues, but is really his own man.

Other blues guitarists/singers I enjoy seeing are Lloyd Spiegel, Jimmy Hocking and Ash Grunwald - all three are great.

Some country talent comes from Git - another 3 women band with great harmonies.

Jazz saxophonist Paul Williamson with trumpeter Gil Askey are a delight.

Some good rock via You Am I.

And a local legend is singer songwriter Paul Kelly who is always good.

My first Australian gig was to see Hunters and Collectors - this was their farewell tour having been mainstays of the Australian music scene for the previous 15+ years - what a collection of songs they have under their belt.

Another legend has been Renee Geyer - a soul/pop singer who is well loved - despite being a bit of a nutter.

Another 3 woman band is The Bluehouse who are really good too.

Indigenous singe/songwriter is the incredible Archie Roach - he tells stories so well - he knows the right words that mean that he doesn’t need to use too many. He paints a story so well.

Then there is C W Stoneking - an interest man that dresses like an American 1930s hobo - well, that style, but very well turned out. He tells stories and plays old fashioned blues and is extremely funny too.

Dutch Tilders is an old blues man who is touted is the father of Melbourne blues - an influence on all that have followed.

Kerrie Simpson - a great blues singer who has a lot of grit and rocks it out - often joining Chris Wilson. She also leads a monthly Sunday lunchtime gospel blues event that is a favourite of mine.

Andy Cowan is a local(ish) piano singer-songwriter who has some great songs and does some interesting covers.

And then there are The Waifs - an incredible band that never fail to deliver a brilliant show - so much talent between the three of them.

There are some great indigenous performers like singer/songwriter Kutcha Edwards, but also some great bands. I got to see Yothu Yindi once - they were superb.

There have been plenty of international acts that I’ve enjoyed - some standouts would be Ray Charles, Santana, Eddi Reader, Taj Mahal, Jools Holland, Dr. John and Johnnie Johnson to name the tip of the iceberg. I saw Bob Dylan too, but he was crap. Anthony & The Johnsons were great. And I got to see Angelique Kidjo for the first time - she is as good live as her records - and I do love her records. I’ve seen Janis Ian a couple of times here - she is an atmospheric performer.

I love boogie woogie piano playing - my favourite being Jools Holland, but Johnnie Johnson and Dr. John are two excellent contributors to that world, so seeing all three of them in Melbourne has been a delight - particularly Johnnie as I had thought that he was dead.